Social media users discussed why ghosting is a concept that should not be bragged about.
This discussion was opened after a content creator interviewed students from the University of Santo Tomas asking whether they have ghosted someone and they have been ghosted.
Several online users have associated the act of ghosting with the students or graduates of UST, dubbing the act as “GHOSTE,” a play on the famous cheer “Go USTe!”
Meanwhile, as of writing, the video interview has gained over 1.2 million views, 137,900 likes, and 764 comments.
@syfugaming NANG GHOST or NA GHOST na ba ang mga TOMASINO? #SYFU #UST #ustinterviews ♬ original sound – Rafaelsyfu on IG
Some online users perceived that some of the interviewees appeared to be proud that they have ghosted someone.
This opened the discussion on why ghosting someone should not be something to be bragged about. Social media users said that ghosting someone is “immature.”
“Kids, it isn’t a flex lmao it just shows how immature you can be,” an online user said.
“Ghosting/being ghosted sucks, weird talaga na people are proud of doing it, but at the same time, I’d rather be ghosted than to be in a relationship with someone who is ‘not ready to commit’? Daming oras na maaksaya. tbh (to be honest) the people they ghosted dodged a bullet I mean look at them,” a Twitter user said.
“Honestly I’ve been saying this for years, if you don’t like them, lost interest or just wanna stop seeing someone, let them know. intentional ghosting someone is NOT something you can brag about unless you’re into that because you’re a fucking asshole,” an online user wrote.
“Silently judging my friends na nanggghost, at nakikipaglandian nang walang commitment (or wala sa footing na magprogress yung rel) kahit na consensual,” a social media user said.
“To flirt with no intentions just to satisfy your yearnings??? Like ppl (people) are just there at your disposal. Magreevaluate nga kayo,” she added.
Ghosting culture
Ghosting is defined as “the act or practice of abruptly cutting off all contact with someone (such as a former romantic partner) usually without explanation by no longer accepting or responding to phone calls, instant messages, etc.”
It is typically used in the context of dating.
“Experimentation,” lack of emotional maturity, and emotional unavailability were three of the most common reasons why people ghost, psychologist Riyan Portuguez of “Your Millenial Psychologist,” said.
“Yung pinaka-common, dalawa lang naman ‘yung usually kong na-e-encounter. ‘Yung isa, puwedeng nagta-try sila mag-experiment. Maraming ganyan na mga Millennial at Gen Z, na in-e-explore nila kung sino ‘yung magma-match sa kanila. So eventually kapag may mga realizations sila, na hindi sila nag-match, o ‘di pasok sa kanilang standard, ‘yung iba parang bigla na lang nilang kina-cut off ‘yung tao,” she said.
“’Yung iba naman, nakakapag-ghost sila kasi hindi pa sila emotionally mature. It’s hard for them to communicate kung ano ba ‘yung nararamdaman nila nang maayos. May gusto silang sabihin pero hindi nila alam kung papaano sasabihin kasi baka masaktan ‘yung isa. Hindi siya ganoon ka-mature para i-handle ‘yung ganoong klaseng situation at i-confront ‘yung isang individual na ‘okay, hindi tayo nag-match,’ Portuguez continued.
“Pangatlo, puwede ring emotionally unavailable siya, na nahirapan siyang i-turn down ‘yung isang tao o i-end na ‘yung relationship na mayroon sila. Ang mangyayari, gino-ghost niya. Puwedeng na-realize niya na hindi siya emotionally available and it’s hard rin para sa kanya na sabihin sa isang tao ‘yung nararamdaman niya. Halos magka-connect din kasi ‘yung pagiging emotionally unavailable at difficulty sa pag-communicate niya,” the psychologist said.
Portugez, meanwhile, reminded those who have experienced being ghosted to focus on their self-worth.
“Sa lahat ng mga na-ghost, tandaan natin na mag-focus tayo sa self-worth natin. Darating at darating din naman ‘yung pagkakataon na may makikilala kang tao na tatanggapin ka sa kung sino ka,” she said.
“Kung sakali rin naman na maging single ka forever, wala rin namang masama kasi ‘yung kasiyahan naman natin ay hindi nakikita sa pagkakaroon ng romantic partner,” she added.
RELATED: Viral tweet presents refreshing alternative to ‘ghosting’ in relationships
Last year, a bill that seeks to declare ghosting as an emotional offense was filed in the House of Representatives.
This bill, however, does not have penal provisions. This is also exclusive among straight people who are dating.
RELATED: Anti-‘ghosting’ bill offers no resolution, closure either
