“The problem with some people is that they are too quick to judge. Never will I ever exchange my life now [for] anything.”
This was the reaction of the wife of an engineer who received scathing criticisms due to his lengthy Facebook post about her.
An engineer named Mark Vincent Yap Nodado previously penned an appreciation post for his wife named Mhei Legaspi Nodado.
Mark was trying to comfort his wife who felt that she has no personal achievements after ten years since she graduated.
Some online users, however, interpreted the appreciation post differently. They perceived the husband’s choice of words as invalidating to the woman.
Others were more critical and called the husband “misogynistic” because of the post.
Days after the Facebook post blew up online, Mhei responded and defended her husband.
“The problem with some people is that they are too quick to judge. Never will I ever exchange my life now to anything. I married a great guy,” Mhei said.
“Yes he is not perfect, but he is a great one. He is responsible, appreciative, loving, soft-hearted, generous and the best there is,” she added.
“No one deserves harsh words based on a single post which actually meant to appreciate your wife,” Mhei continued.
She also attached old photos of their sweet moments as a couple to her post.
In her Facebook post, Mhei clarified that she does have personal achievements as a financial advisor and an entrepreneur of two businesses.
“With regards naman dun sa ’10 years na pala akong graduate parang wala pa kong personal achievements’, I just felt down a little. But it was not his fault! It was my hormones kicking in! Alam nyo yan, girls! Don’t deny. Especially when it is the day of the month,” she said.
Mhei also emphasized that it was her choice to be a stay-at-home mom.
“Ako kase, this is me lang ha, as a mom, I am and always be willing to take care of my children and stay at home. That is why I chose this profession where I can work and be with my children, 24 hours a day, most days of the week. And with that, I am just so grateful to have the chance to do so kase I married a great guy who is so responsible and never forces me to work full time,” she said.
Her post ended with a message of thanks to mothers, relatives and friends who expressed their support for her amid the criticisms.
Viral appreciation post
Mark did not mention the details mentioned by Mhei on his own post.
Instead, the husband said that his own achievements were also Mhei’s. He also went on to cite the small things that his wife has been doing for him that count as among her “achievements.”
Mark ended his appreciation post with a sweet note for Mhei.
“You are the scaffolding to my structure, in the end, people won’t see what you’ve done, but this structure won’t go higher without you. I love you,” he said.
Following the slew of negative reactions to the viral appreciation post, Mark’s post can no longer be accessed as of writing.
Prior to its deletion, several Facebook pages managed to copy it and shared it to their followers.
‘Walking red flag’
Gabriela Women’s Party joined other concerned personalities in voicing their views about the husband and the appreciation post.
They also sparked conversations on gender norms, equality and marriage.
Kristine Sabillo, a digital media officer of a charity organization called Oxfam, discussed another overlooked problem in households—unpaid care work.
In a lengthy post, she associated the husband’s view of his wife with the overarching unpaid domestic work of women and girls in the world.
“Hindi po scaffolding ang babae. Maraming kayang-kaya ang maging matatag na gusali,” Sabillo tweeted.
Hindi po scaffolding ang babae. Maraming kayang-kaya ang maging matatag na gusali. Kung lalaki ka, wag mong isipin na supporting actor mo lang ang asawa mo. Baka hindi mo alam, sexist ka pala.
My long take on that now viral post of the husband who thinks na dapat syang tularan: pic.twitter.com/hp8TS78XJQ
— Kristine Sabillo 🇵🇭 (@kristinesabillo) April 20, 2022
Voice-over artist Inka Magnaye, meanwhile, was more sympathetic after she have read Mhei’s reaction.
“All we can do is put ourselves in their shoes and see how we feel. If we don’t like it, we can’t change someone else’s marriage, but we can definitely learn from it and make changes in our own relationships,” she said on Facebook.
