Trigger warning: The story includes mention of suicide threats.
Should parents treat their children as their retirement plans?
This was discussed online after the financial issue between Nexplay esports gamer H2WO and his mother was publicized on social media.
His mother took to TikTok to call out to her son about their family’s finances.
Last December 5, H2WO spoke up on the issue and uploaded a series of screenshots of his past and recent conversations with his mother.
The gamer said he wanted to keep their family matters private but he was prompted to publicize it.
“As much as possible ayoko sana gawing public to dahil usapang pamilya ito. Ito pinaka masakit na pwede kong gawin sa buong buhay ko, ang ilabas yung kwento ng family ko sa public,” H2WO said in a Facebook post.
“Kailangan ko gawin kasi ang dami ng taong nadadamay, mga taong mahal ko at nirerespeto ko na hindi naman dapat nadadamay,” he added.
Based on the photos, H2WO’s mother demanded money from the gamer multiple times. The money requests were apart from the P25,000 monthly allowance the mother is receiving from his son.
This prompted the gaming video content creator to ask for receipts so he can manage his finances better.
“Ma, next time po pwede ko po bang hingin lahat ng resibo? Para ma tansya ko po kung magkano po ipapadala ko sa inyo, minamanage ko na po kase mga pumapasok at lumalabas na pera,” one of H2WO’s messages to his mom reads.
In some of the messages, H2WO’s mom also mentioned suicide threats as well as her plans to leave the house when asking for cash from her son.
H2WO also revealed a conversation with his brother which alleges that their mother is gambling.
‘Children are not parents’ retirement plan’
After H2WO’s post, some social media users sided with the gamer.
Concerned online users said children are not parents’ retirement plans. They also considered giving money back to parents or debt of gratitude (utang na loob) as a “toxic Filipino trait.”
“Parents should never treat their children like an ATM, insurance, investment plan, nor a retirement fund. We are not your broken dreams and aspirations. We are our own person,” a Facebook user wrote.
“Children shouldn’t be chained by ‘utang na loob’ (debt of gratitude) for being born when we never even asked for it and we don’t have any choice about the matter,” he continued.
“Nabasa ko yung thread post ni H2WO sa facebook tapos naisip ko, kawawa tayong mga anak ngayon kasi ang nangyayari naging retirement plan tayo. Guilt tripping din madalas, pero wala eh, masama pa ang result pag di nagbibigay kasi ‘walang utang na loob’ at ‘mga anak ko lang kayo,'” a Twitter user wrote.
Some stressed that giving back to parents must be voluntary.
“Indeed, as sons and daughters, we can help in our own volition, but always remember that it’s never our obligation.You can love your family, but love yourself too. Sometimes, we need to be selfish in order to be selfless again. You just can’t give what you don’t have,” he said.
“It’s a no[t] [children’s obligation to send money to their parents,] for me, pero in my case nagbibigay ako at tumutulong sa gastusin sa bahay para suklian at tumanaw ng utang na loob sa magulang, masarap sa pakiramdam bilang anak na makita mong napapasaya mo ang magulang mo sa ganung paraan,” an online user said in the comments section of News5’s poll about children’s obligations to parents.
Others said gambling should not be tolerated.
“Masarap sa pakiramdam ang magbigay ng pera sa magulang pero kung pinangsusugal lang ang pera, ‘wag nyong i-tolerate kahit sumbatan pa kayo,” a Facebook user wrote in the same online poll.
As of writing, H2WO’s post garnered 366,000 reactions, 18,000 comments, and 165,000 shares.
His mother has yet to respond to H2WO’s post containing private messages on Facebook.