What the uproar on Julia Barretto’s Instagram post can reveal about cheating

August 7, 2019 - 2:53 PM
Julia Barretto in bed
Julia Barretto promoting a beauty product in 2019.(Instagram/juliabarretto)

Observations on women constantly bearing the blame in cheating scenarios arose after actress Julia Baretto called out Bea Alonzo following their controversy with Gerald Anderson.

The 22-year-old actress finally broke her silence on the issue in Instagram last night, where she stated that Alonzo’s social media activities have “encouraged a culture of hate” against her for the past few days.

“Bea, you wanted to keep your hands clean by not mentioning me in your controversial post, but with a click of your finger, in your sly way, you have charged everybody to destroy me for you,” she said.

“You have encouraged a culture of hate by purposely liking harmless photos, putting malice into the minds of many, which resulted in the outrage of insults against me,” Barretto continued.

She also criticized the 31-year-old actress for using her influence to supposedly promote “social media irresponsibility” instead of promoting “grace and strength in women.”

Last week, Alonzo cryptically “liked” Instagram pictures of Barretto and Anderson being in each other’s company following Rayver Cruz’s birthday celebration.

She also posted a black photo on her account with a caption that people perceived referenced her on-and-off relationship with the actor.

Anderson in previous interviews has cleared Barretto’s name in the cheating allegations and said it has always been about his and Alonzo’s “personal issues.”

Alonzo, meanwhile, revealed that the actor has simply “started not talking” to her.

When Barretto shared her own thoughts on the matter after almost three weeks of keeping mum, some Filipinos pointed out that she should’ve shifted the blame to Anderson instead, who was accused of “ghosting” Alonzo.

A Twitter user responded to the young actress’ controversial Instagram post and noted some observations.

“If anything, (you) should attack Gerald for pitting women against each other,” he wrote.

Another user reminded fellow Filipinos that the issue, particularly Barretto condemning Alonzo, “sends the wrong message and amplifies the notion” of women getting the “blame” in cases of cheating allegations.

When women get the blame 

Experts believe that there are various reasons as to why women are almost always blamed in cases of infidelity, even though a man may have caused it in the first place.

According to psychologist Andrea Bonior, it stems from the belief that women are perceived as “caregivers” who are supposed to “nourish men and keep them happy.”

“Women are the keepers of a relationship. There’s the deep-seated belief of women being the caregivers. They should be able to nourish men and keep them happy,” she said.

If such a supposed role is not fulfilled, Bonior said society blames the woman if the man leaves her for another partner or when he strays from the relationship through infidelity.

For behavior scientist and relationship expert Christine Hartman, women are often accused in such scenarios since she is perceived to be “an easy target,” especially by the aggrieved woman in the relationship.

“The other woman is an easy target — especially if you don’t know her, or she’s not your friend. Hating the person you love that wronged you, on the other hand, is confusing,” she said.

“Putting the blame on him makes you address uncomfortable questions, like ‘What if our marriage is a sham?’ ‘Maybe he’s not who I think he is?’ ‘Am I going to be alone the rest of my life?’” Hartman added.